I will never let myself fall in love or love someone more than i can handle. I’ve been through it and i hate it. Loving someone makes me weak and sad. Loving someone so much is overrated. I hate waking up and expect a Good morning text message from that person. I hate sleeping waiting for his goodnight text. I hate waiting for his reply.I don’t like being jealous and think of him all the time. I don’t think i want to love again. I prefer being alone. I never want to cry and feel the pain again.
So this guy call me again. I think i like him. He’s nice and sweet and very funny. He tells me stories about his life. And i like seeing him but we just cant be.
Why we can’t be together:
*We work on the same organization
*He has a daughter and he might not be with her mother anymore but in papers they’re still married
*My parents will be so disappointed with me
*People will never understand
I told him today that we cant be together. And i knew i made him sad but im sorry. :(
I can’t stop taking pictures of this guy right here. :D He’s like my long distance crush.He doesn’t know that i like him because i don’t wanna end our little friendship and be awkward. But i really like him. He’s nice and has the most adorable smile but he was lonely. I can see it through his eyes that he’s sad deep inside. He always drink because he doesn’t want to feel the sadness. I always try to comfort him but he’s still sad. I always try to be online so when he gets lonely i can be there for him. He doesn’t like going out because he’s scared,He always get in trouble when he’s out and he doesn’t want that. He told me about his dreams and they are beautiful <3 But i wish he’ll stop being sad and lonely because someone like him deserves to be happy. He’s 21 and he’s ready to have a family. He’s the sweetest. Though i like him alot,I would be so happy for him to find the girl who will love him unconditionally <3
Im always gonna be here for him though sometimes i feel like he only talk to me when he got no one to talk anymore.I feel like the last option but that doesn’t mean i’ll let him down. I would never want him to feel alone.
I hope someday he’ll see how great he is and how he makes me smile without even doing anything <3
— Arundhati Roy